When the Conflict Goes on for Days
TARGET:
9-11 years
INTENSITY:
25 min / 2x per week
LEARNING GOAL
Developing Emotional Awareness When Interacting with Others
PEDAGOGICAL INTENTION
Managing My Emotions When Interacting with Others
Target SKILLS
Socio-emotional Intelligence
Co-Intelligence Human-Human
Well-Being
Complex Reasoning
MATERIALS
Conflict timeline worksheet
Sustained regulation strategy cards
DETAILED PROCEDURE
This activity works best one-on-one, or with one child at a time within a small group. Explain calmly to the child: "Short conflicts test your first response. Long conflicts test everything - your patience, your principles, your identity."
Step 1
Long-conflict phases: the incident → the hardening (both sides dig in) → the side-choosing → the quiet standoff → the resolution or rupture.
Step 2
For each phase: what emotions are present? What regulation is needed?
Step 3
Say gently to the child: "The longer a conflict goes, the more it costs. Every day it continues is a day you both lose."
Step 4
Have students design a 'conflict exit plan' - what would need to happen for them to take a step toward resolution at each phase?
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
Step 8
Step 9
Step 10
PROGRESS INDICATORS
The child maps emotions across all 5 conflict phases.
The child identifies the specific regulation challenge in each phase.
The child designs a conflict exit plan they're willing to actually use.