Talking with Someone Who Disagrees with Everything You Believe

12-15 years

Me with Others

25 min / 2x per week

Learning goal :

Developing My Ability to Communicate Harmoniously with Others

Pedagogical Intention :

Respecting Different Ideas and Accepting Disagreement

Target skills :

Cross-divide dialogue, Charitable interpretation, Debate vs. dialogue distinction

Materials :

Across-the-divide dialogue protocol, common ground mapping tool

Detailed procedure :

1. Introduction: "The ability to have a genuine, respectful conversation with someone who disagrees fundamentally on important issues is one of the rarest and most valuable social capacities there is."
2. Dialogue across difference protocol: start with shared values / ask genuine questions before stating positions / find the most charitable interpretation of their view / look for the need or fear underneath the position.
3. Distinguish: debate (trying to win) vs. dialogue (trying to understand).
4. Script: "Every position, however different from yours, is protecting something that matters to the person holding it. Find what that is."
5. Practice: structured dialogue on a contested social topic using the protocol.

Progress Indicators :

Finds the shared value beneath a deeply different position. Sustains genuine curiosity for 10 minutes with someone holding an opposing view. Articulates what the other position is protecting.

Research Foundations :

Rawls (1971); Buber (1937); Kohlberg (1969)