When Someone Comes After Who You Are
TARGET:
12-15 years
INTENSITY:
25 min / 2x per week
LEARNING GOAL
Developing Emotional Awareness When Interacting with Others
PEDAGOGICAL INTENTION
Managing My Emotions When Interacting with Others
Target SKILLS
Socio-emotional Intelligence
Co-Intelligence Human-Human
Well-Being
Critical Thinking
MATERIALS
Identity-under-attack scenario cards
Identity anchor + regulation protocol
DETAILED PROCEDURE
This activity works best one-on-one, or with one child at a time within a small group. Explain calmly to the child: "Some of the hardest emotions to regulate are those that feel like attacks on who you are - your identity, your values, your intelligence, your background."
Step 1
Distinguish: attacks on your identity (who you are) vs. criticism of your behavior (what you did). Both feel personal. Only one is.
Step 2
Identity-under-attack regulation: ground yourself (this is an opinion, not a fact) → assess the source (is this worth engaging?) → choose your response deliberately.
Step 3
Say gently to the child: "When someone comes after your identity, the most powerful response is often the calmest one. Losing control gives them power they don't deserve."
Step 4
Role play: hold your identity anchor through escalating identity-based provocation.
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
Step 8
Step 9
Step 10
PROGRESS INDICATORS
The child distinguishes identity attack from behavioral criticism.
The child applies the 3-step regulation protocol in a role play.
The child maintains calm through 3 escalation rounds of identity-based provocation.